Long Legs No Help
I have always been tall. Aside from looking over people’s heads in a crowd and getting things off the top shelf, it hasn’t been all that amusing. I can see the dirt on the top of the fridge, I have to buy TALL clothes or my ankles and wrists stick out, and it’s a long way down to tie my shoes. When I lean alluringly against a door jam I look much like an ironing board propped up in the same position.
By now I’ve become used to me, but there are times when I’d prefer to be petitte. I’d trade the ability to heave 40 pounds of luggage into the overhead bin for a few extra inches of legroom, for example. Other then that, I’m pretty happy being tall.
Still, every once in a while I want to feel petite. So I pick the tall table at the fast food joint. It makes me feel short because I have to climb up onto the chair and my feet don’t touch the floor. I can swing them if I want and not touch anything at all.
The problem is I can’t reach my food. In order to get up into the chair I have to drag it away from the table. Once in the chair with no hope of using the floor for leverage, I can’t scoot myself in. How is that supposed to be done?
One remedy is to pull the table closer to me, which seriously inconveniences my fellow diners who now sit on the other side of a great abyss. They get cranky.
I have also tried rocking my chair back and forth in an attempt to “walk” the chair legs closer to the table. Getting just the right tilt to the chair without falling over is harder than you might think.
I have attempted to jump the chair over, maneuvering it as if it were a pogo-stick. Each hand firmly under the seat of the chair, it’s kind of a bouncing / lurching movement.
The thing that seems to work most efficiently is to ask my companions push in my chair for me, but then how do they seat themselves? I’d have to give up my properly positioned chair to help them. Then they’d have to help me again. It would be a vicious circle.
Seriously, how are you supposed to use these chairs! Does the wait staff tuck you in to the table? Are you supposed to plant your feet under the table and then pull the chair seat toward the small of your back and shimmy up backwards? Maybe there is a small crane by each table that I have never noticed that just lowers your and your rear onto the seat. Are they only for extremely tall people that can sit AND reach the floor?
I’m serious. I need more information.
Entry filed under: Miscellaneous Musings.