A Hole In One

August 9, 2010 at 4:39 am 31 comments

Hello. This is Madison T. Dog writing and let me first state that there are no pictures with this blog post. None.  And there never will be. And I am as embarrassed as a grown dog could possibly be.

Mom has already shared our wonderful trip to Vermont together.  What she didn’t tell you is that she has taken this dog training stuff to new heights. She is quite pleased with herself. 

When we travel I am exceedingly well-behaved and obedient, because I get to go special places.  I do what I am told.

Mom monitors everything too, especially things I eat and drink as she has discovered a direct correlation between what goes in (water and kibble)  and,  er…. “what comes out.” I am not allowed to water plants or leave presents unless I am commanded to do so. This is OK with me because it’s like the woman totally reads my mind anyway.

So on the morning of the last day of the trip, after I enjoyed a big cup of kibble, she took out the little blue bag. This is the international sign that there will soon be something to “scoop.”  Off we went to a lovely grassy area in front of the hotel. Instead of keeping a discreet distance and allowing me a little privacy as she usually does, she was definitely tailgating, if you catch my drift. I was a little concerned, but Nature was calling, and just as she called, Mom held the opened blue bag beneath my butt!

I was stunned.

Before I knew what happened, it was IN THE BAG! Literally. Mom danced around and proclaimed a “hole in one!” I just don’t know what to think. This takes micromanaging to a whole new level.

I hope she doesn’t tell the other dogs; I’ll be the laughing-stock of the whole neighborhood.

Happily, like in golf, “holes in one” are suspect unless witnessed by others. I think that’s the only thing that’s going to save my reputation. (Probably shouldn’t have blogged about it…)

Yours obediently,
Madison T. Dog

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Entry filed under: Dog Stuff. Tags: .

In Honor of Mark Stick It In Your Ear!

31 Comments Add your own

  • 1. myrna sossner  |  August 9, 2010 at 9:12 am

    Oh, Madison…….Relax. If the situation were reversed, you could understand. Retreiving “it” especially if the grass is high is not easy or pleasant. I remember, when I lived in NYC and walked “Moses” in the park I was able to slip a page of the newspaper in just the right spot at just the right moment. It did not seem to embarrass him and it made my job much easier just as it did for Ami.

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  • 2. Marilyn Stephen  |  August 9, 2010 at 9:31 am

    Oh my goodness, I just about spewed my coffee as I was reading this and drinking at the same time. Poor Madison, I can imagine how horribly embarrassing this must have been for you, but you were a good boy and cooperated with your Mom–I always love it when you write your Mom’s blog, you always make me smile. Keep up you good works, good boy!

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  • 3. Edwina J Muray  |  August 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

    What a wonderful accomplishment for both of you! Sure wish I could get my four legged friends to do the same or wait until they are on the way home to drop me their news. A couple houses down the street is not the way home!

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  • 4. Mutti  |  August 9, 2010 at 9:49 am

    …and in front of the hotel? I just don’t believe it at all… Shep

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  • 5. Karen  |  August 9, 2010 at 9:56 am

    This is a first for me. Madison, you are such a good dog. Could you train my dog, Luger, to do the same.

    And don’t be embarrassed. You may have started a new trend!

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  • 6. Sandy  |  August 9, 2010 at 9:57 am

    Oh, Madison — you should at least have posted a photo of your mom dancing! ;)

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  • 7. debi  |  August 9, 2010 at 10:24 am

    Madison, the more I read about your Mom, the more impressed I am. She is one special girl!! You shouldn’t be embarrassed, you should be so proud of her. Since the two of you already take your show on the road, just enjoy your time together and maybe others will try some of your “tricks.”

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  • 8. Linda Bott  |  August 9, 2010 at 10:30 am

    oh so funny….but what an idea!

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  • 9. Connie Schaap  |  August 9, 2010 at 10:38 am

    WOW,,,now thats some great training. :):):):)

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  • 10. Darlene Bulthuis  |  August 9, 2010 at 10:40 am

    Too funny! Sure wish there was a picture or video of this momentous occasion!

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  • 11. Joan  |  August 9, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Well, Madison, all we have to say is that there just has to be a limit to obedience to these “humans”. We are shocked……. “I make it a point to require my Mom to wait until I find an appropriate place to do the business and do require my privacy. Sometimes, I even wander around some just to let her know who is boss.” (that’s from 4 yr. old Abby) Fourteen year old Molly replied, “Abby, that’s nothing I just go when I have to whenever and wherever—-age has privileges.”

    Seriously, Madison, it is great that you are so well behaved and we did enjoy reading about your trip to places that dogs can only dream about. But, we think you have taken obedience too far………

    Your loyal Black Lab fans,
    Abby and Molly
    Pine Grove, CA

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  • 12. Jean  |  August 9, 2010 at 10:55 am

    Madison, you poor dear thing….I don’t think she can *really* read your mind, but that is scarey. You should have wiggled a bit and it would have been in her hand…teehee

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  • 13. Ruthie  |  August 9, 2010 at 11:06 am

    Poor Madison,

    Your secret is safe with me. I will not share with any of the neighborhood canine. I too, have been shamed by my people.

    Sincerely,

    Lady Lydia Lu Langdon

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  • 14. Claudia  |  August 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

    Wow….I am impressed ! Great job !!..

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  • 15. quiltdivajulie  |  August 9, 2010 at 11:36 am

    I can just see your mom dancing and proclaiming the ‘hole in one’ with a huge smile on her face . . . I know you don’t get it, but we do!

    Good dog, Madison – good dog!!

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  • 16. Terri Drake  |  August 9, 2010 at 11:53 am

    ROFLMBO Oh Madison, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but human mommies can be so silly. Dey don’ts wanz peoples to tink deyz bad so deys has to scoops up trophys. I finks its he who has da most poop wins. For a dog yous is a good fur ball. Be patients with you mama as she is da keeper of da kibbles!

    Yous friend – SamWise, da cat, at the Drake’s Nest in Ossineke, MI where its raining and I’s trying to talk a bigggggggggg chrip Canada Goose in to play .

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  • 17. Pat  |  August 9, 2010 at 12:29 pm

    Madison,
    Let me tell you what my mom did to a dog. She picked up after him in a plastic bag then put that bag into a second plastic bag. Then she made him carry his own poop! That would have been even more embarrassing, don’t you think?
    Pumpkin (a golden just like you)

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  • 18. Sophy and Amber  |  August 9, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    poor Madison<

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  • 19. Sophy and Amber  |  August 9, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Poor Madison, we feel so sorry for you. that was downright humiliating. We are so lucky to live in the country where you can leave presents out in the pasture where no one sees them. We just have to be careful out there as the horses and cow leave even bigger ones that we could step in.

    Your Friends in San Juan Bautista, CA, Amber and Sophy Galindo

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  • 20. Elaine Adair  |  August 9, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Poor Madison T. Dog!!! This is being just a bit toooo “anal-retentive”

    However, such diligence DOES require a high level of expertise on her part.

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  • 21. Sue Leenders  |  August 9, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    OMG – Just PP – ROFLMAO! Next she will find a way to sew a strap on bag holder.

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  • 22. Sue Leenders  |  August 9, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    P.S.
    Chrissy here, Madison!
    FYI – a litter box is so much more civilized and private.
    Dogs, ya got tell them everything.

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  • 23. Jeanette pilson  |  August 9, 2010 at 5:46 pm

    Must have been a sight to behold!! Can only imagine what the “non-dog” people though!!

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  • 24. SuzK  |  August 10, 2010 at 8:43 am

    Madison, you are an amazing dog. Humans do strange (albeit very, very funny) things. She’s very lucky to have a dog like you!

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  • 25. Ducky  |  August 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Hi Madison. I’m just a 1 year old Springer with a happy-about-everything attitude, but I don’t think that’s embarrassing at all. It’s your mom who was in the embarrassing position. Heard the phrase “waiting on someone hand and foot.” I guess your mom was waiting on you “bag and poop.” Sounds like you and your mom are in good sync. :)

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  • 26. Helen  |  August 26, 2010 at 9:58 am

    Madison T Dog, you are the most handsome dog ever. Hugs to you and your mom.

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  • 27. Mary  |  September 1, 2010 at 5:56 pm

    Hey Madison,
    Don’t be embarrassed, our daughter and son do this lots with their cute female in FL. It’s especially muggy most of the time and easier to bag. :)

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  • 28. quiltingbea  |  September 1, 2010 at 8:05 pm

    Madison, I think you need to cut Mom some slack. After all, she’s getting old and can’t always bend down as far as the ground. {Or get back up after :)}

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  • 29. Phyllis  |  September 1, 2010 at 8:53 pm

    Some mom and dad birds grab their baby birdies poop as it leaves the birdies bottom….with their beaks….at least your Mom used a blue bag!!

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