Ah, Spring!

The Easter Bunny left his photographic backdrop propped up by the ice cream place in center court at the mall a few weeks ago. Just couldn’t resist playing around. If nothing else I amused the other mall walkers.

I think the squirrel is a tad out of proportion. If I saw a squirrel that big in real life I definitely would NOT turn my back on it!

Have a great day!
Ami :)

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

AMI Air

My friend Mark reminded me that I have my own airline, Air Manilla International. Never mind that it’s out of business! He also reminded me that I have my own airline code: AMI stands for Mataram, Indonesia.

Aparently there are more than 9,000 airport codes. If you want to look up your initials and see where YOUR airport is, try http://www.world-airport-codes.com/ and type your name in the blue shaded box. The next challenge is to somehow work that into a conversation.

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

I Am A Beverage

Who knew?  Yet, there I am on grape, orange drink, and citrus punch labels. AND embossed onto the plastic bottles too. Pretty neat, huh? And, I’m enriched with vitamina C.

We snuck off to Mexico last month and at the little market where we were staying there I was up on the top shelf. The slogan? “COMO ME GUSTA AMI.”  Isn’t that nice? (That’s nice, isn’t it?!)

So who are these Jumex people?  I need to know. More importantly, do they have corporate logos on sweatshirts? Would that not be so cool!?

Who speaks Spanish out there? Thank goodness my name appears in bright orange. The print on the back of the labels is so small I can hardly read it. Looks like there is a toll free number if you live south of the border: 1-800-01-JUMEX. The stuff is made in Mexico, if my Italian helps at all, and is exported/distributed to Guatemala, Honduras and possibly elsewhere in Central America. Any extroverted googlers out there?

Years ago I learned that there is a fly-fishing outfitter named SIMMS.  I wrote and asked for a label. They were very nice. I pinned it to one of my pin cushions.

My most treasured “name” of all time were some shirts from a store called B. Moss, that being the same initiatl of Mom’s first name and her entire last name.  Amy Simms, my neice, found them for me. I could only find one shirt left, after Mom passed away, that didn’t have her name markered on the label. This label won’t be on there for long. It will soon live on a quilt!  (Check your closet in case you have any, would you? I’ve got another idea brewing and I think the stores are all out of business.)

Now, anybody who suggetsts I have too much time on my hands after reading what comes next is going to get slapped upside the head. (I am creatively procrastinating. There is a difference.)

Turns out I am also:

•  American Megatrends Inc. 
• Association Montessori Internationale
• American Meat Institute
• Association of Medical Illustrators

And, AMIS Semiconductor, whatever that is.  Naturally, I went to their web page. Check our their logo! I made the mistake of calling up their marketing person. (Hey, if you don’t want calls, take your phone number off your web page.)  I dialed a little too fast, before I had a plan, and wound up leaving the most odd and rambling message on the poor woman’s voicemail. And of course I gave her my name! Feeling like a total idiot. OK, I’m going to go quilt now.

Red faced,
Ami Simms

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

Toothpaste Conspiracy?!

I’d rather not think about toothpaste. I’ve got other more important things to ponder. While I resent the 87 different brands, flavors, additives, and claims I have to evaluate before I can throw a tube of dentifrice in the shopping cart, I am able to get over my selection angst. After that, I pretty want to brush and move on.

But I can’t. Alas, sometime when I wasn’t looking, some marketing idiot designed a new cap. The old cap wasn’t good enough. This  new one has to multi-task. Like the ketchup bottles and the SoftScrub, toothpaste caps can’t just keep the contents inside the tube, they have to be able to, what, stand the tube on end? For what possible purpose? Like I have space for a toothpaste display on my bathroom counter? I think not. (Besides I tried that. After half the tube is gone, the tube falls over. Trying to get it to stand on its own is like balancing an egg on end.)

So despite every attempt NOT to think about toothpaste, there I was thinking about it. Why the cap change?  I think I figured it out. All the extra stuff they put into toothpaste to keep your teeth from rotting, make them white, numb the pain from your exposed gums, prevent plaque buildup, and stop mold from growing all over your mouth, somehow changed the consistency. Or maybe they just made it thinner on purpose just so it would drip out of the tube on its own. That’s it, I’ll bet!

Try and stand the tube on end and (duh!) it exits the tube that much faster. The more spilled in the cap itself and on the bathroom counter, the faster the consumer has to buy more!

Not THIS consumer. I changed the cap!

It was a highly technical operation. Upon close examination I discovered that the bulbous, over-sized, “stand-it-up” cap could be removed! Ah HA! And under it was a threaded opening that was EXACTLY the same size as all the other tubes of toothpaste I have ever purchased. I just took the top off my travel size tube (only slightly less expensive than the suitcase I tote it around in) and used it to cap the larger tube! Perfect.

So, to re-cap (pun intended):

1. The “old-fashioned” way was better.
2. I am the master of my oral hygiene products.
3. On a good day, I can outwit a toothpaste conglomerate.
4. I now have to keep track of the old cap so that I can put it on all future toothpaste purchases.

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

OK, I Changed My Mind. Again.

I’m allowed.

In speaking with the quilt in question, the one made from Mom’s shirts, we decided that my original anal plan was the one go with. It felt more comfortable.  It involved less “quilty thinking” and more “Mommy thinking,” which was the whole reason to make the quilt.

I was stressing too hard about my assymetry. It happens. I retreated to my comfort zone.

There is another quilt brewing that will be a little wackier, but this one just needed to begin and be done. The angst of planning it (or letting go, as the case may be) was overshadowing its primary purpose, so Mom and I went back to Plan A.

How anal is that?

 Fairly. I cut up 12 different shirts a different color. From each shirt I cut six of each of the three size.” (I planned on a few leftovers.)  The fabrics were distributed evenly throughout the quilt top. I studied and squinted, and found no duplicate blocks. (If you spot one, please keep it to yourself.)

I created a series of three nesting templates so that I could center each of the  four squares precisely. The grain of each patch in the block runs in the same direction. Every time I fused I smelled the detergent the Alzheimer’s facility used and I smelled Mom. I probably should have just skipped the quilt and ironed her shirts.

Originally I was going to hand blanket stitch everything in place by hand. I gave that up after the first block. Majorly annoying, a real pain in the fingers. Cotton and spandex knit does not give itself up to the needle easily. Neither does the fusible interfacing that backs each background square, nor does the fusible web 1/2″ under the raw edge.  (Yes, each of the 54  6″ background blocks,  all 72 blocks (and their corresponding  fusible web) were fussy cut. And you wonder why this is taking so long?) 

The next plan was to blanket stitch around the outside edges through backing and batting, “blanky-quilting” it down.  The thought of wrestling the concentric squares (attached to the quilt) around and around made my wrists ache, so I opted to do that part block by block, pivoting at each corner. Thank you, Sulky; I love the 30 wt black cotton—all 500 yards of it. And yes, I did fish the tails to the back, tied two square knots to secure them, and hid the tails in the stitching… 216 times. Repetition frees the soul.

I joined the blocks with a sashing strips (regular quilting weight cotton) so the thick seams of Mom’s pants (the black) would never have to be folded back onto itself. It’s a heavy quilt, but it will be flat. I hand-basted each seam allowance in place with water soluble thread so that it would stay where I put it. Who knows when I’ll get to quilting it.

For right now, I’m putting it away so I can move on to other things. I’ve saved all the extra fabric. I’ll let the quilting design percolate a little before I decide exactly what to do.  Too many decisions right now.  I’m going to iron some more of her shirts and see what I feel like.

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

Restaurant Bonding Revisited

Refresh your memory of a post I wrote at the end of last month that drew a flurry of excellent comments from readers:  Restaurant Bonding. I wrote to Outback Steakhouse suggesting they re-think their policy of having wait staff sit down next to customers, citing my blog and your responses to it.

With the permission of the person who wrote the email, I am sharing Outback’s response:

G’day,

Thank you for contacting Outback Steakhouse, we always encourage and appreciate feedback from our guests.

Our servers are not directed to sit with guests while taking orders (unless invited), however we do encourage that they get to eye level.  Outbackers are encouraged to be warm, friendly, and let the true love of their job at Outback shine through.  Our goal is to make every dining experience at Outback an enjoyable, relaxing and memorable one. We believe the service we provide is the best in the business and a true point of difference.

Thank you for passing on this feedback from your blog, we always welcome and consider feedback from our guests.

Sincerely,
Your Friends at Outback

I guess I’m stumped. Your comments?
Ami Simms

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

Most Boring Job

Not all jobs can be as exciting as mine. I know that. And not all parts of all jobs are fun; that’s why they call it work. And, not everyone gets to do meaningful work.  But when your entire job can be replaced by one sturdy nail, that’s pretty sad.

So, because nobody else will, I salute the sign holder.

But I just need to ask WHY.  Seriously, what’s with the person-held signage at street corners?! During the last year, they’ve started sprouting up like dandelions.

Why? Is it illegal to nail a sign that big to the telephone pole, but it’s not illegal to have a person hold such a sign? Or are we consumers so pathetic that we can be distracted by the movement and so manipulated by advertisers that we really believe there will be more than one item that actually rings up at 70% off the original retail price?

What kind of instructions do the sign-holders get before they start their shift, besides being told which corner to stand on. Are they allowed to sit? Can they lean? Must the sign move CONSTANTLY? Back and forth? Up and down? What about bathroom breaks — what do they do with the sign?!

Do you know? Tell me.

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

Twisted Sisters Stuff

Somebody asked me recently if I ever got tired of patterns (or classes I teach from them) specifically, Twisted Sisters. Ah….  no.

In fact I recently finished this top, using up scraps from a Twisted Sisters demo session in Houston at the International Quilt Festival in Houston when the pattern first came out years ago.

I had leftover parts from two quilts and decided to combine them, using both blue/strip and red/beige “wedges” in the same block. I wanted to see what kind of secondary pattern would show up and I was rewarded with blue and red “pinwheels” when the blocks were set together.

All I had to do to get the pattern was to turn each block 90 degrees when I placed it. (Half the blocks go one way, half go the other.) I used the same block center for each block. I’m happy with the white (same as block center) “pre- border,” or flange, sewn in to give a little spark and separation. The borders aren’t bad. If I had to do the cornerstones over again I would have “twisted” them too. Looks like the Red Cross came to visit.  I’m not too disappointed; this isn’t my last quilt.  :)

In Illinois this past week Kathy Treece of St. Anne, IL honored me by taking my Twisted Sisters workshop a second time! She brought with her two awesome quilts she finished from the previous class.  (See Rainbow Twist and Checkerboard Twist.)

Kathy figured out a great way to use up the little wedges leftover from step #5. 

She flipped the larger scraps end-for-end and sewed them together to make new, very tiny, patched fabric for her inner border.

 Here’s the border next to a block or two so you can see the scale.

See Kathy’s Checkerboard Twist for the full effect.

Thanks for sharing, Kathy!

Need a Twisted Sisters Rotary Template & Pattern of your own? They’re back in stock and ready to ship.

Get my blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

Pet Day

Mom took me to Tractor Supply in Clio, Michigan  last week. They had a Pet Day where dogs and cats could come and hang out. There was a Vet, animal adoptions, and a talent contest. And lots of dogs!

Mom said I should cover the story with the Doggie Cam.

I liked how the nice lady bent down to look at me.  She was very nice. This was our second “take.” Mommy forgot to turn on the camera the first time. It’s so difficult working with amateurs.

If you ever get a chance to take your people to the store, you should do it. It’s a great chance to sniff new things, and I don’t just mean the rear ends of other dogs. They had great toys and lots of dog food to smell, and of course tracks on the floor, which I find quite interesting.  I also met a cat who was sleeping with her tongue hanging out. I was going to help put it back in, but Mom said not to.

Does anybody know how to edit video?

Get Mom’s blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.

Doggie Cam

I have a new toy! I’m not allowed to chew it, my people won’t throw it for me to fetch, and I can’t lick it either. But boy, is it FUN!  I have my very own Doggie Cam!

Mom invented it. She took a quick release mini tripod and Velcro-ed two of its legs to my extra dog collar. The third leg gets wedged in this funny loop on the top of my old service dog backpack, the one I used to wear for my Nannie when I was her helper dog.

It looks like I have a camera growing out of my head in this photo (thanks, Mom) but it isn’t really. It is stuck to my extra collar. And then I have a real collar that works with the leash.

You can see the Velro strips  (red and black) securing the tripod to collar.  I can move my head anywhere I want it to go, including up and down.

The key ring on “handle” of my backpack just keeps the tripod from swinging all the way around to the bottom which would give you an “under chin” view which would be upside-down. My backpack also shifts when I move so it’s pretty comfy. (Yes, and I am a walking car door opener. I just need a human person to push the buttons.)

I have to carry two large bottles of hand cream, one in each side compartment of my backpack so keep it from flopping too much. And then the left pocket gets a bar of soap to counter-weight the camera which has a pretty high center of gravity and no place in the MIDDLE of it to screw onto the tripod. Yes, Mom stays up very late at night to think of these things.

Dad volunteered his old camera, but don’t tell him because I don’t think he knows yet. (Hi, Daddy.)

So when I’m all ready, Mom pops the camera in place and turns it on.  We have some practice videos that mostly show Mom’s behind as I follow her around the house. She said we are NOT going to put those  on YouTube. Then we shot this one last night once I got the hang of wearing the camera.

I can’t go under the table wearing the camera. The table and me are just about the same size. When I walk under it I don’t have to slouch. But, with the camera above my head I clunk the table which terrifies me and makes me run very quickly through the house looking over my shoulder in case the table is chasing me. This causes me to run into other objects which also terrorize me and could possibly come after me.

Going around corners fast is problematic because I sometimes slam the camera into the wall. Mom says that’s why we’re using Dad’s camera. She’s so funny.

Mom also didn’t prepare the house with extra cleaning and such to get it ready for our first video.  We were pretty impromptu. That’s French for “not prepared.” So just ignore the mess. We also forgot to turn on all the lights before we started. Welcome to MY world.

Did you notice that Daddy watches TWO televisions at the same time? He is very talented. He also listens to sports on the radio at the same time and can tell you the score of all the games if you want to know. Mom usually doesn’t want to know. I don’t mind either way. The best part is Daddy always stops whatever he’s doing when Mom starts talking or when I woof to go outside or back in again. AND, he can throw things to me while he watches and listens to stuff.

My favorite part of the video is when Mom ran into the furniture in the dark. I do that all the time. I’m going to watch that part again.

Get Mom’s blog delivered to you via email, or read it online.